No mud, no lotus

19 Apr

Since the ending of my cancer treatment, there has been many instances in my life where I catch myself thinking, “Is this what I want permanently or is this just a temporary side effect that is affecting me now which will change later?” To be honest, I still cannot really tell the difference.

In the past year where I have been coping with the difficulties of a long-distance relationship and relocation, it has dawned on me that I cannot trust myself to make long term decisions. All I can do is to live in the present, to be in the “now”. Thinking about the future just compounds anxiety which I am not able to cope for now.

When I find myself being anxious or worried about the future, I like to tune in to my favourite Buddhist teacher, Tara Brach. It sounds cheesy but sometimes her podcasts are exactly what I need to stay calm and not get swept into downward spiralling thoughts.

My favourite podcast by far is one called “No mud, no lotus”. In it she talks about the intrinsic link between the mud and the lotus. One does not exist without another. And same with life, there can be no blossom if there is no suffering. We all have our own mud. In fact, our lives are pretty much the mud and it is up to us if we recognise the lotus or not.

You can find Tara Brach’s podcasts in iTunes, or visit her website at http://www.tarabrach.com/index.html

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